God designed our bodies to operate best when powered by truth and love. To operate under this design, we need to connect with Him and be honest about our communication pitfalls.

Strengthening  exercise: 

  • Assume responsibility. You alone are responsible for the words you speak. Prayerfully consider the words you are speaking to your spouse. Ask God to help you to control your tongue.

  • Begin practicing speaking words of kindness to your spouse. Need some ideas? Ask God to show you how your spouse is made in His image or ask Him to help you treat your spouse from this perspective.

  • Consider if you need to ask for forgiveness both from God and your spouse for the harmful and hurtful words you’ve spoken.

  • Commit not to cursing or using derogatory names when talking with your spouse.

  • In times of conflict, take a deep breath before you speak. Take a moment and ask yourself if what you are about to say is building up your spouse or tearing them down. Practice a gentle start-up.

Scriptures to consider:

  • “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)

  • “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

  • “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

  • “If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.” James 1:26 (NLT)

*This is intended for married couples in an emotionally, physically, and spiritually safe relationship. If you are in an unsafe or abusive relationship, please seek professional help.

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